Sometimes the things that trigger us are the very things we need the most.
The L word. It wigged me out. When I said the word in my mind it was with the “this is so lame” affect to my voice that I hope you can imagine. Maybe certain words have this effect on you? Chick flicks? ICK! It went so far as even when shopping for crystals I didn’t want any Rose Quartz, as stunning as it was, because ewww that’s the “love” crystal. Yuck.
Why did this word illicit such a response in me? I am not opposed to love. I love my children more than I can possibly fathom. I drink in their love every chance I get. I love my husband, my family, my friends. I don’t think there is anything wrong with love, loving, and being loved. But love made me uncomfortable. Why did this word bother me so much?
Well sometimes the things that bother us the most are the very things we need the most. I was desperately in need of self-love. There’s another phrase I couldn’t stand. Self-love. How corny! I had no idea how to love myself. I’d always hated myself. So much I couldn’t even stand the word. And when you don’t love yourself it makes it hard to accept love. Well this hater of “love” can now confidently say that LOVE is the only thing that really matters. It is at the heart of everything. Giving love, receiving love, radiating and accepting the infinite love that fills the universe. But it’s more than that. Loving yourself is the key to everything. It is the key to success, to fulfillment, to joy, to passion, to abundance, I could go on and on. Until you truly love yourself you will struggle to attain these things only to have them slip through your fingers. Or if you manage to hang onto them they end up feeling empty.
Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do. It is more important than loving your kids, it is more important than giving to others, it’s the ever flowing source of every ounce of good you can ever hope to give and receive in your life. The more you love yourself the more you can give to others, the more it benefits others, the more it benefits the world. It’s an energy that has greater reach and impact than you can ever imagine.
Loving yourself isn’t about being perfect. It isn’t about “liking” every little thing about your physical appearance, every shitty thing that may have happened to you in your life, or every shitty thing you think you’ve done. There are no mistakes. We wouldn’t be where we are without all of these things that have happened to us and that make us who we are. It has all shaped us and we are perfectly imperfect exactly as we are and we are right where we are meant to be. Accept everything that makes you who you are. Accept it and love yourself for it. We can’t change the past. There is no point dwelling in it. We can choose this day, and every day, to be grateful to wake up to another day with breath in our lungs and a roof over our head. Love every part of ourselves because we are beautiful souls who have the power to choose to be happy and live a life that we love. We aren’t victims. No one else has the power to make us happy or make us miserable but ourselves. We don’t need to figure out who we are or who we are meant to be. You can choose right now the person you want to be. The person who lives in love not in fear. The person who appreciates every amazing and beautiful thing and person that surrounds them and the beauty that is inside them.
I love myself. Every weird and wonderful part of me. I’m not going to waste one precious moment of this live giving a shit if anyone else things I’m worthy of that love. Because I am. WE ALL ARE.
That trait in someone else that makes you absolutely crazy. What is it saying about you? What do you need to look at? What is it out there that you find yourself repelled by? Maybe it’s exactly what you need but you’re too afraid to face it.